Its final here..

I think i can feel it as it hit me after a stern talking form the one i can only say has a higher directive then me, the only person who can allude to being called an artificial mother in manners of personal internal conflict. but i do feel it coursing through my veins like dark blood as it engulfs me in a feeling i haven't felt in a long time. i feel in control again, i feel my power come back to me, perhaps it is the effect of the guidance recieved and the actions i was able to get away with of late.

I've felt a lot better for a couple of days as if the poison has stopped its choke hold on my mind. perhaps this is what i needed. but then again with it comes an empty hole, but not in my heart as if i had one in the first place, but still the emptiness is there.

there seems to be a change in the wind if we can believe the wind is real, the breeze is blowing but i can not feel if it is cold or warm.. but then again what is cold or warm in this illusion? good or bad? we shall pretend to see...

truth...lie...causality