desire...

It is said that desire is desire, it cannot be bleached out by the sun, washed away by the ocean or burned away by fire. perhaps there is some truth is this, but then again desire is just another one of mans figments. but yet i question if only such an illusion, then it must be a powerful one. one that can drive a man to do many of things. yet it is an illusion that also fills a mans desire to be drive, to strive for.

but sometimes it is desire that inevitably drives a man to his own created destruction. a place where his mind has created such a real image that he does not know it is not true. perhaps we all find ourselves there at one point or another, some find themselves deeper into the illusion than others, others can in a seconds notice turn of this image and return to our illustrious yet fictitious reality in which we live in. some forget these side worlds of images we create to forget, to find pleasure or to even punish ourselves in.

for me most of the time desire has been something attainable always in the illusionary world where i have most of the control. yet desire has never favored satisfactorily in the event of a real soul. when dealing with entities it becomes so much more complicated, one must consider their reaction and action. yet here is where desire becomes a burden, it starts to affect not only the surface of myself but actually if strong enough the mind and soul, as a poison seeping into my body slowly. it is to the point to where i do not know what the desire was, was it true attraction or has it twisted itself into a concept of possession with no other reason. when desire becomes to deep is when it becomes fatal and most likely unattainable without you giving up power, something the mind is not willing to do.

so for those deep into desire with no point, those who's desire has turned into a twisted poisoned idea deep in their minds, it is here where it starts to hurt. a hurt powerful enough to weaken the person, yet it affects us in different ways. as for me it sparks a hatred, a hatred that hurts me inside. a hatred that sits inside of me but does not let me turn its energy on desire.

as a confession, one desire will never hear, i have to say... i hate the fact that i cannot hate you even though it hurts me deeply not to do so...

all in all at the end it is just another illusion, one that hurts because i have let it hurt me. perhaps one day a true desire will come, one not poisonous, but pure. one with who to create an illusion of worlds not to hid in or hurt oneself in, but to fulfill the desires and harmony of each.. some day

truth...lie...causality